When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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