my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
