Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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