I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
