Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
