i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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