you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
