SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
