porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
