i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
vagina is talking i cant
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
