I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
