He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
