Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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