Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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