in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
