i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
