My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
