We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We were destined to go to rehab together
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
