Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
