The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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