I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
