Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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