Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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