why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize