the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
