i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
