just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
