Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
