HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my phone needs a breathalizer
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
