You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
