I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
