Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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