About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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