what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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