Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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