you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
