Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize