I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm always down for nudity.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
