How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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