I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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