Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
