Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
