Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(830): View more from Texas

I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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(830): I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk. http://tfl.nu/s9wt

Replies (33) Good night (1002) Bad night (528)
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(416): View more from Ontario

She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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(416): She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now http://tfl.nu/59pg

Replies (64) Good night (1161) Bad night (6781)
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(585): View more from New York

just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?

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(585): just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/qttt

Replies (56) Good night (1243) Bad night (4220)
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(301): View more from Maryland

the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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(301): the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner. http://tfl.nu/49va

Replies (19) Good night (5454) Bad night (2290)
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(360): View more from Washington

He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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(360): He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one. http://tfl.nu/lrzn

Replies (9) Good night (7094) Bad night (1085)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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(419): I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat? http://tfl.nu/2nrh

Replies (30) Good night (1208) Bad night (4242)
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(574): View more from Indiana

im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven

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(574): im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven http://tfl.nu/dx1t

Replies (6) Good night (4202) Bad night (884)
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(650): View more from California

Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.

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(650): Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right. http://tfl.nu/x2bs

Replies (3) Good night (2779) Bad night (910)
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(217): View more from Illinois

she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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(217): she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work http://tfl.nu/qwhd

Replies (3) Good night (2281) Bad night (1241)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

(910): View more from North Carolina

That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

(770): View more from Georgia

Touche.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

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(770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye

Replies (6) Good night (4035) Bad night (912)
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(206): View more from Washington

The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

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(206): The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again. http://tfl.nu/xffh

Replies (5) Good night (1297) Bad night (594)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.

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(612): I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot. http://tfl.nu/caxg

Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (520)
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(718): View more from New York

Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.

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(718): Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year. http://tfl.nu/pj0t

Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (577)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

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(404): I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/xlvi

Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (406)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence

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(240): Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence http://tfl.nu/zd2a

Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (415)

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