this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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