No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everything about him screamed your future.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar