I am in a vortex of obligation.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?