I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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