i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
