Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
