all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
