dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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