Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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