Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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