i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
