ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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