Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
