I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
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