he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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