No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
