how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
