I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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