I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
