dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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