lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize