thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well I just put wine in my tea
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
