do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
