sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Bring me that man meat
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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