I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
