Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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