ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
